Kill the Elevator Speech: Stop Selling, Start Connecting by Felicia J Slattery

Author:Felicia J Slattery
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781937879112
Publisher: Sound Wisdom
Published: 2014-11-17T17:00:00+00:00

PROS AND CONS OF COCKTAIL CONVERSATION

When I’ve met people at various networking events and meetings, I’ve always been innately curious about them and their stories. One of the things I particularly enjoy about multi-day events that take place out of town where all the speakers and attendees are staying at the same hotel is the ability to sit down with people and get to know them better in a more casual, less “official” context. This usually occurs over meals, often after hours, usually in or near the lounge, otherwise known as “the bar.”

In this informal setting, people traditionally unwind more, express themselves more, and just generally loosen up and show you more of who they are, making it easier for you to empathize and communicate with them.

Now, here’s a caveat to anyone doing any kind of business networking that involves a bar, especially at a multi-day event where “heading home” for the evening means hopping on the elevator to return to your hotel room. If you choose to imbibe alcoholic beverages of any kind, know your limits and know when to stop. No, you’re not driving home. Yes, you can let your hair down and “relax.” But no matter how friendly you are with the people there, not all of them are personal friends beyond work, and none of them should see you stupid, sloppy drunk. Even if it seems to you like “everybody’s drunk, so who cares”?

Don’t start with those lame old excuses about how having a cocktail, beer, or glass of wine helps you relax and therefore helps the conversation to flow better. Grow up. If you need a drink to relax, you need more than a book. Learn how to relax without the aid of chemicals. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes for a moment and meditate or say a prayer for peace. Get professional help if you need it.

Just do not get drunk, “buzzed,” or “tipsy,” no matter how “funny” or “clever” you feel when you are in that state. At some point, likely sooner than later, you’ll embarrass yourself and people will remember the wrong thing about you. Even if “everyone else” is drinking heavily or drunk, it is still a mistake to allow yourself to fall into the trap of losing control. Because the truth is not everyone else is drinking and there are people who will remember drunk, stupid you instead of the brilliant, beautiful you.

Having said that, connecting with people over a cocktail, beer, or glass of wine is a classic way to be in an informal environment. Maybe the TV will be on and you can talk about sports, the weather, or the news of the day. That’s a fine way to connect with someone else as you also learn their interests. Enjoy your beverage of choice. Just be careful about how much of it you enjoy.

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